good at fucking (GAF)

it’s too late to close the door you already opened it the light is coming in and you ruined everything. all the doors in my house are always open because she opened them she had to i feel like a 11 year old whose parents are too concerned about me taking up masturbation i’m always watched privacy becomes the only currency i trade in. i won’t glance at you if you won’t glance at me we can make unspoken privacy agreements if only you gave a shit about me


*holding up mysteriously stained pair of pants in a secondhand clothing store* SHOW ME THE CARFAX


how’s everyone’s sponsored content tonight? mine’s Axe! #cool #advertising #not annoying

personal computer mission: get one, until then dream longingly of a future of being constantly connected. everyone deserves at least that much

feel my phonk bone

i’m tired of having to use a computer standing up i think that might be why my posts have been so angry as of late. this is me apologizing

i fuck like an tech support agent i’m always smiling and cheery with a bluetooth headset on you wanted to enjoy it yourself but our bodies weren’t compatible i apologize for the error messages you can just go ahead, restart and forget about me


demons ARE in the Catholic Church.!! when I was in grade 2 my family and I where attending mass and I heard a really creepy deep rough voice sounding like a sinister goblin right in my ear say “take the money” when the collection plate was going around. dad said I was imagining things but Im pretty confident about it. I forgot about that until now. regardless if I imagined it or not —which I wouldn’t have — demons are in the Catholic Church.

in the future

i’ll only be putting out meaty posts you won’t have a problem with

a very expensive hoagie store where you can trade in inches of electronics for hoagie inches called screens for rolls

11 Images of Bart Simpson, Dead


art blogs are really annoying 

as much as robin williams death depresses me the concept of a series of copycat suicides by depressed dads in mrs.doubtfire drag will never cease to be hilarious to me

begging for money is okay if you’re holding an instrument