single and ready to mingle

show me the crime scene i can make it bloodier explain the crime in your head to me i can make it muddier. if we got together we could pull something big something they wouldn’t forget soon. they’d make new laws to imprison us specifically we’d die in infamy but knowing we pulled the best crime ever. the perfect theft-murder-arson-assualt-blackmail session the world has ever seen. your parents won’t even show up to the execution they’d be so ashamed

grevenz:

Welcome to planet earth. This is the first store you walk into.

A lot of y’all only take a bath to take pics

very few of the selfies i take involve the lower half of my body because that’s only for my wife

2ct7:

oil paint is the devils medium

britvarama:

sucktina:

im going to live a cool unconventional life 

Same.

i think i could arrange this

funkmeisterfish:

fuck ssb4 im going to play Sex Gangsters forever

funkmeisterfish:

fuck ssb4 im going to play Sex Gangsters forever

this new hat i got has the power to “fix” disabled people regardless of how major or minor their disability. i’m so glad i can finally pee standing up

this new hat i got has the power to “fix” disabled people regardless of how major or minor their disability. i’m so glad i can finally pee standing up

a pill that makes movies more emotionally exhausting 

wallddizzy:

WALLDDIZZY

wallddizzy:

WALLDDIZZY